00:00 - National Anthems. Several cute children are exploited to be walking McDonald's billboards. I like it.
00:00 - There are clearly some upper deck sections that are entirely empty. I guess we'll call it a Jacksonville sellout.
04:11 - I need another beer but this stupid sport doesn't have commercial breaks. How unAmerican. Nick was right.
06:20 - There is a single fan wearing a Jacksonville Jaguars jersey and wondering where he went wrong in life.
08:46 - Lot's of play right on the boundary that usually ends with somebody kicking it out so they can reset. If they want more Americans to watch they should add walls and institute checking.
10:30 - There are fans holding inflatable pickles with faces. Those are less fun than vuvuzelas.
14:50 - Alright, I'm gonna go get that beer. I'll probably miss the games one goal
21:03 - Announcer: "They're very proud of the local alligators here."
26:04 - Did they just resume play while the trainers were still tending to an "injured" player on the field?
29:48 - They still haven't reversed their policy on commercial breaks. When are we supposed to pee?
31:00 - GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. Or not, American announcers are lame
37:30 - Sometimes pro soccer looks like little kids playing. Everybody cluster around the ball!
45:00 - One of these times I'm going to independently track stoppage time. This seems ridiculously arbitrary
6:50 - Something about Bob Costas intros to sporting events makes me wanna shoot myself. It's almost like he's Joe Buck.
6:54 - California Chrome is lookin good. Let's do it. Triple Crown!
6:58 - Well that was disappointing.
45:15 - I feel like we already played 45:00-46:00. Oh yeah. Made up timekeeping. I forgot.
53:00 - Spent the last 8 minutes looking at Imgur. Surprisingly didn't miss a goal.
57:44 - Nigeria just made 3 consecutive backwards passes going from the US goal box to their own goalie. I don't get this game.
67:58 - GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...nevermind. These announcers still suck
68:00 - I think in soccer terms they refer to this as an historic blowout
71:14 - The game is happening but they're showing shots of the sideline. Even the cameramen aren't interested.
71:18 - And a US player is helping a Nigerian player stretch. How nice of him. A little mid game yoga is always appreciated.
16:16 - Announcers make mention of the one Staal brother that doesn't play for my Carolina Hurricanes. Maybe they should make a 3 for 1 trade.
15:52 - I don't understand, people in this game are hitting each other but there aren't injuries or even penalties.
15:20 - Got it, this is hockey, that's why.
80:38 - "Don't go overboard, it's just a friendly." Sports. Friendly? What?
12:58 - "I guess the puck just hit a snow patch on the ice." What a beautiful phrase on a brutally hot June day.
12:02 - Commercial break. Finally I can pee. American sports. Fuck yeah.
85:25 - PK
85:37 - Goal. Howard didn't even give a shit.
86:46 - Nigeria have suddenly found some energy. It's because they drink gatorade instead of powerade. Lebron could learn from them.
9:55 - LA penalty kill. Screw LA. OOOO, another commercial break. America, Fuck Yeah!
90:00 - Game Over! Oh, wait...
90:14 - 3 minutes? Where did that number come from? This is made up
90:54 - Horse collar. Guess that's not a real penalty in soccer. Just a free kick. Ride em cowboy
92:00 - 19 years ago the USA won by a score of 3-2 over Nigeria. What a great help. That information is totally relevant to this game.
93:07 - So much for 3 minutes of added time. The game continues...
93:36 -> 90:00 + 3:00 = 93:36. Yup.
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